I sat next to a man on the train who was reading the neon pink edition of one of my favourite books. He was only on page 8 though.
The first instruction I was given was:
1. Find a one-way and walk in the opposite direction.
I was not sure where I'd find a one-way street, but found one, at Castle Street. I walked up it, passing a strange flower. I then finished Dérive 1715 by mistake and started again.
( Read more about Dérive 1715 and Dérive 1716Collapse )

It was a Friday and I wanted to find somewhere new to go.
I decided to let Serendipitor take over. I selected "Current Location" as my starting point and "Random Location" as my ending point.
( More about where I went while using SerendipitorCollapse )
The Friday after that I decided to try a different, yet similar app: Drift.
( More about where I went while using DriftCollapse )
I still have Dérive app to try, as well as a pack of Drifft cards. (I also tried the Drift Deck a few years ago: Drifting and Red shoes.)
The next little girl who passed me explained to the adult with her, "If this was the right, there has to be a wrong. A wrong way."
1. Black Frugo.
"Mystery hidden in the bottle. The velvety black colour of the grape night lit up by the glow of a red cherry."
"The disturbing aroma of a black currant struggling in darkness with the exotic tone of pitahaya."
The taste of this black drink made from chokeberries and dragonfruit reminded me of how the villain in Strawberry Shortcake used to smell. The Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak. Perhaps after drinking it, I had become the villain.
2. Cookies & Cream Kit Kat.
3. Seitan, which I had made myself.
I have eaten seitan before, but had not managed to get hold of vital wheat gluten previously to make it myself, but now I have, and it was quite easy to make.
This was originally posted at SF0:
Did you just pop out a raspberry, or was it on the custard? Stop reading the currant bun and go up the apples. Let's all get in the jam and not bother with a sherbet.
I gathered food to play with:
A currant bun
Some apples and pears
A jar of strawberry jam
A sherbet dip-dab
Some custard
A Cadbury's flake
I then cooked a raspberry tart, and also made a jelly.
Food:

On Sunday, I was shown how to use a MaKey MaKey with Scratch by
I decided to create a Cockney rhyming slang Scratch program. I live in London, but speak Estuary English as opposed to Cockney, so looked at a list on Wiktionary: Cockney rhyming slang. I drew pictures of a television and some stairs, and recorded a fart sound. I then imported some images and moved statements around in Scratch, so that the pictures would move around.
I hooked up the MaKey MaKey and attached it to the food with crocodile clips. Messy! I abandoned the sherbet dip-dab at this point as it was not conductive.
My Scratch program:

The food hooked up to the MaKey MaKey:

If you touch the raspberry tart, it makes a farting sound.
If you touch the jelly and custard, a television appears, and the words "Hello SF0!" appear on the screen.
If you touch the jar of strawberry jam, a car moves across the screen.
If you touch the currant bun, a sun appears and moves about.
If you touch an apple, stairs appear and then become a bit swirly.
If you touch the flake, a ghost appears and says "You made a mistake".
An improvement would be to make the pictures do something a bit more interesting than just move around, but I was just learning how to use Scratch.
Cockney rhyming slang used:
Raspberry tart - fart
Custard and jelly - telly
Jam-jar - car
Currant bun - The Sun
Apples and pears - stairs
Cadbury's Flake - mistake
If you have a MaKey MaKey and a raspberry tart, jelly and custard, jar of jam, currant bun, apples and pears, and a Cadbury's flake, you can also try this out. I have uploaded it to the Scratch website: Cockney rhyming slang. If you don't have a MaKey MaKey, you can try it by imagining you are touching the food, feeling the bounce of the jelly beneath your fingers, the gooeyness of the tart, the stickiness of the currant bun, and on your keyboard you can try pressing Up, Down, Left, Right, Space, and click your mouse.
It was raining the day I decided to visit the Museum of Water in London. There were collections of water from christenings and melted snowmen, but I mostly just wanted to drink the rather magical seeming PlayStation Water. A note by it said, "This originates from Japan where it is squeezed from fresh PlayStation 3 consoles at the top of a mountain. Drinking it turns the user into a video game character after midnight."
I passed houses which were pink and blue. Were they always? I couldn't say. I had spent two days at home with a hurt shoulder and the outside world seemed suddenly confusing and exotic.
I had been reading Russell Hoban's The Trokeville Way, which delighted me. I imagined myself standing on the brudge (bridge with a grudge) and l looked on the map for Tinker's Lane, where the main protagonist lived in Richmond, and also for Castleford Road. There's not one in Richmond, but there is a Richmond Street in Castleford.
"It's got mystery, that music, it's got magic - it takes you out of the everyday sameness into a place where anything can happen."
Earlier that day, I ate an avocado and pistachio cupcake with bright green icing.
"When he sees a snowman, he wants to pee on it," a woman told me, shooing her dog away from my creations.
I then wandered along the river until I came to the nymphs, which were surrounded by icicles.
I turned back and went inside the Stables Gallery and looked at photos of local people, and then at the Orleans House Gallery I looked at architectural drawings of local places, some which were built and some which were not.
I continued up the road and passed someone carrying skis. Inside the park there were signs in certain areas forbidding skiing and tobogganing.
Richmond Park seemed magical, with snow-covered trees and ferns, and I wandered across the snow and hid inside two hollow trees, one of which is in the picture.
"Red Bull! Red Bull!" a man loudly shouted, breaking the spell. "Red Bull!"
I traipsed through the snow, circling the wood, and started heading back towards the gate. It was then that a person snowkited past, which seemed even more exciting than seeing a person carrying skis.
Then, back down the hill again, I purchased a jar of caramelised biscuit spread, which after reading
There's a nearby Instagramers exhibition, photos of Iconic London, but it's the photos of Shit London I see later that appeal to me more. I try to stifle my laughter in the gallery, while I look at the elf storage units, graffiti I pass regularly but was unable to understand before, and the shops with funny names.
I see a few Santas buying snacks and I presume they have taken a detour away from SantaCon for now at least. There's no escaping Santa, as a bug wearing a Santa hat smiles down at me from the roof by Village Underground. There's a blue plaque nearby that says "Crunchy. The Credit Crunch Monster. 2008 - 2010. Official mascot of the global recession."
I stare at the textures in the White Cube gallery, pools of black and gold, pleasingly swirled. The Next Life's On Me.
Then I jump aboard a bus and sit at the front at the top, and stare out at the skyscrapers that we pass. Soon, I'm at St Katharine's Dock and on a boat, trying to decipher French text that mentions pirates, and staring at piles of onions.
- Current Location:London, UK
The Friday after that, I visited the Tate Britain and wandered between words in the Ian Hamilton Finlay exhibition.
- Current Location:London, UK
I made a festive jellyfish to hang on my tree on Wednesday at the MzTek Soft circuit Christmas decorations workshop. I learnt how to sew conductive thread into a circuit to make the LEDs light up. Interested to do some of their other workshops sometime.

I fired a gun in an art gallery.
That was Wednesday, in the Photographers' Gallery, as part of the Shoot! Existential Photography exhibition. If you hit the target, your photo would be taken. The exhibition had photos of a woman who had been shooting at such targets since the 1930s. There was also a photo of Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. I also liked the photos taken with pinhole cameras that had been shot at.
I didn't hit the target.
When I got back to the office, the alarm was going off. "There has been an incident in the building." This was unrelated.
I watched a film that night, about a world where people could not lie.
Sunday, I went to Boring 2012, and listened to talks on self-service check-outs, the shipping forecast, shop fronts, ASMR (Auto Sensory Meridian Response) videos, IBM tills, and a variety of other "boring" things, which perhaps are not really very boring. I might photograph the inside of my fridge (with the door closed), and now I imagine double yellow lines made of instruments and turning green. (Diamond Geezer's Notes from Boring 2012 give a more comprehensive list of talks.)
Today I saw Stories from the Enchanted Forest by Su Blackwell at the Long and Ryle Gallery.
- Current Location:London, UK









































